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im an ugly fat piece if shit.
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I just had a dream that my dad raped me…
Im more an a little worried.I want to just forget about it but I cant get the sick picture out of my head.
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Day 26 - Have you lost weight, and gained it back? Or are you maintaining your current weight?
I lose some then go back up to where I started… then I lose it again and I go back up later… but I must say Im getting better about it. I used to go back to my starting point but now I that point to go back to has getten lower.
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Day 25 - Does Your Weight Affect Your Mood?
Very much so.
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Can I just to shoot myself already.
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Day 24 - 12 Months Ago: Where Were You and What Were You Doing?
The exact same thing I am doing now. Trying to lose weight and going to high school.
Hmmm what a life.Only diffence I can tell is I am trying harder on my grades and it’s taking everything out of me.
Day 25 - Does Your Weight Affect Your Mood?
Day 26 - Have you lost weight, and gained it back? Or are you maintaining your current weight?
Day 27 - What Are Your Exercise or Eating Habits?
Day 28 - What’s Your Current Weight: Did you lose anything these past 7 days? If you didn’t, what is your plan for the next?
Day 29– 2 Weight Loss Blogs that follow you
Day 30 - What do you fear for the Holiday season?
Day 31 - Step on the scale. Do you like the weight you see - yes or no and why?
Day 32 - Skinny or Fit?
Day 33 - What did you eat today?
Day 34 - What is your ideal caloric intake/day?
Day 35 - Final Call: What is your current weight? Did you lose anything these past 7 days?
Day 36 - What are your weight loss or fitness goals for 2012?
Day 37 - Triumph! What is your Current Weight and Height? Did you reach your GW or UGW? Did you reach the weight you wanted to be for Christmas? How much weight, in general, did you lose? -
Day 23 - Handwrite the Last Thing You Ate
Handwright it? …it was grapefruit
Day 24 - 12 Months Ago: Where Were You and What Were You Doing?
Day 25 - Does Your Weight Affect Your Mood?
Day 26 - Have you lost weight, and gained it back? Or are you maintaining your current weight?
Day 27 - What Are Your Exercise or Eating Habits?
Day 28 - What’s Your Current Weight: Did you lose anything these past 7 days? If you didn’t, what is your plan for the next?
Day 29– 2 Weight Loss Blogs that follow you
Day 30 - What do you fear for the Holiday season?
Day 31 - Step on the scale. Do you like the weight you see - yes or no and why?
Day 32 - Skinny or Fit?
Day 33 - What did you eat today?
Day 34 - What is your ideal caloric intake/day?
Day 35 - Final Call: What is your current weight? Did you lose anything these past 7 days?
Day 36 - What are your weight loss or fitness goals for 2012?
Day 37 - Triumph! What is your Current Weight and Height? Did you reach your GW or UGW? Did you reach the weight you wanted to be for Christmas? How much weight, in general, did you lose? -
Day 22 - 5 Reasons for Losing Weight
So I have a thigh gap
So I feel weightless
So I know I am underweight
So I know he can hold my weight
So he will worry/care about me more
So I can be proud of myself
So I can wear the clothes I like
So I can be happy with myself
…I could keep going.
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Wrote this Oct 4th, 2010… I hard to see how depressed I really was.
i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life
i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life
i hate my life i hate my life i hate my life
im sick of my life
im sick of my life
im sick of my life
i dont care anymore
i dont care anymore
i dont care anymore
i give up
i give up
i give up
i dont want to do this anymore
i dont want to do this anymore
i dont want to do this anymore
i wish i would die
i wish i would die
i wish i would die
im tired of putting up with everything
im tired of putting up with everything
im tired of putting up with everything
i want out
i want out
i want out
i wish someone could save me
i wish someone could save me
i wish someone could save me
i hate my life…
i just feel like i cant do this anymore, and yet im still not able to stop. i feel like im being run into the water and pushed under. i cant breath nor can i see. hope isnt there to save me. my skin bleeds and my heart wont seem to beat. im lively dead. no one can hear me, no one cares to see me. im invisable. and not one person knows. even if i try to tell, they shut me down. i cant handle this anymore. i have no way out. i am dead inside. i cant even cry out.
my life has no meaning. still cant find hope :/
please god jus let me the fuck go.
